Logic prevails, sort of

Savanna: Mommy, there’s no big foot, right?

Me: Right. Big foot is not real.

Savanna: But there are bears.

Me: Yes, there are bears. Bears are real.

Savanna: What if you see a bear?

Me: I’ll probably stay in the car.

Savanna: What if you see a baby bear?

Me: I’ll probably still stay in the car.

Savanna: What if the bear wants to give you her baby bear?

Me: Umm, I don’t really want a baby bear.

Savanna: Do you want a baby person?

Me: Well, that’s not entirely up to me. Daddy said no.

Savanna: But you can just get a baby from your belly.

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Just Daddy

I’ve been swamped with work lately, that means Cliff does absolutely everything at home from grocery shopping, making meals, laundry, cleaning, ferrying the kids to preschool and music, feeding them, bathing them, and putting them to bed.

Before I left for work a few days ago, I hugged Cliff and said, “Babe, thank you for doing so much. You are my rock!”

Josh piped up, “But Daddy is not a rock!”

I laughed and said, “No, I don’t mean he is a rock. It’s called a metaphor. He is like a rock for me.”

Josh looked puzzled and said, “But he is not a rock.”

I said, “I agree with you. He’s not a rock. He is my rock.”

He was done with this conversation. He said, “He’s just Daddy.”

Trust you tomorrow

Josh and I were having a discussion about how to allocate the big tub of dinosaurs we just bought for him. I told him he can only have one of them tonight, because the rest are his birthday gift. He really wanted all of them right now. I said just one. He said all of them. We went back and forth a few times until I’ve just had enough.

I said, “Josh, you’ll get all the dinosaurs eventually. But tonight, you only get one.”

Josh said, “But I really need all of them.”

I said, “Josh, we’ve already discussed this. They are all yours. You get one tonight, and the rest on your birthday. You’re just going to have to trust me, ok?”

Josh thought for a second and said, “Ok, mommy, I trust you.” He paused, then said, “I’ll trust you tomorrow.”

 

Things my preschooler says to me

Josh (1 of 1)It never really occurred to me that I gave birth to a tape recorder. Josh repeats back to me things I have said to him, with the exact same tone I use. It’s scary.

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While I was working on the computer the other day, Josh came in to the den, closed the door behind him, and said, “I have to make a phone call now. Can you please be quiet for a few minutes, Mommy?”

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Usually he gets to press the elevator buttons in our building. The other day, I got into the elevator with him, and without thinking, I pressed the button for our floor. He looked up at me with his teary eyes, and I realized I forgot to let him push the button. I said sincerely, “I am SO sorry, buddy. I totally forgot. Will you please forgive me?”

He does the index finger waiving thing, and said in a stern tone, “Mommy, please don’t ever do that again. Do you understand what I just said?”

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I was about to step out for a photo shoot, and I asked Josh to come give me a quick kiss. He sat at his art table drawing on his paper pad, looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I’m busy with my photo shoot.”

I said, “Oh yeah? What kind of photo shoot?”

He points to Savanna and said, “I have a photo shoot with Savanna. I don’t have time to give you a kiss.”

Speak good words

The other night, I said to Savanna, “讓媽咪抱抱”

Joshua said, “Mommy, don’t speak Japanese!”

I said, “Baby, that was Chinese.”

Joshua said, “I don’t want you to speak Chinese.”

I said, “Why not?”

Joshua looked at me like I missed something obvious, and said, “Because you have to speak good words.”

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I came home from snowboarding and said to Cliff, “Either I need to buy bigger pants, or I really need to lose some weight.  I can barely button up my snowboarding pants.”

Joshua said, “How come you need bigger pants, Mommy?”

I said, “Because I put on too much weight.”

Joshua said, “Don’t worry about your weight, Mommy.”

I laughed, and said, “Oh yeah?  Why did you say that?”

Joshua said, “Because your pants don’t worry about it.”

I said, “Ok, thank you, baby. You made me feel so much better.”

Joshua holds out a fry to me and said, “You want some fries?”

 

Melt

This morning, I came out to the living room, all dressed for work.

Joshua said to me with a tone of concern, “Mommy, where are you going?”

I said, “I’m going to work, baby.”

Joshua said, “I don’t want you to go to work.”

I sat down beside him on the couch, held his hand, and said, “Sorry buddy, it’s a work day, so I have to go to work.”

Joshua asked, “How come you have to go to work?”

I said, “Because I have to make money, so we can live here and have food to eat.”

Joshua looked at me, climbed onto my lap, put his cheek on my chest, and said, “Mommy, I give you my heart.”

Excuse me while I melt into a puddle.

Money

Hearing a toddler’s perspective on money is always so interesting.  Here’s the conversation Joshua and I had this afternoon.

Joshua: I don’t want you to go outside.

Me: I thought you wanted to go to the park.

Joshua: I don’t want you to go to photo shoots, and I don’t want daddy to go to work.

Me: Awww, baby, but we need to work to make money to live here.

Joshua (with a big smile): I have money!

Me (a little surprised): Really?  Where?

Joshua (runs towards me, rattling his piggy bank): Here, I have lots of money!

Me: Oh, thank you, baby!  That’s not quite enough money.

Joshua (still sounds hopeful): It’s ok, Mommy, we can buy more money at the bank!