I know I’ve written about this many times before, but I still don’t get tired of looking at how Joshua and Savanna interact.  Joshua is constantly asking to hold Savanna, and Savanna would smile and coo when Joshua is in front of her.

Yeah, yeah, I know one day they are going to fight over toys and stupid little things.  But heck, I’m going to enjoy moments like this when they show love to each other.

Joshua and Savanna-7842

Joshua feed mei mei

Joshua insisted on using the breastfeeding pillow to hold Savanna.

Joshua insisted on using the breastfeeding pillow to hold Savanna.

Joshua loves playing with the breastfeeding pillow.  I guess he sees me use it all the time when I feed Savanna.  Yesterday, he insisted on sitting in the middle of the pillow, and buckled himself in.  Then he said to me, “Joshua feed mei mei.”  I didn’t really want to get into the debate of how he can’t feed Savanna.  So I put Savanna on the pillow, and he just sat there and held her.

These two monkeys just melt my heart.

Less than 12 hours to go

In less than 12 hours, I’m going to be meeting my baby girl.  That’s such a wild thought!

There will be no drama of contractions or labor pains this time.  I’ll have a full night sleep tonight, shower tomorrow, get ready, show up at the hospital, and 2 hours later expect my baby to be in my arms.  That is going to be drastically different from the experience of having Joshua 2 years ago.  At a minimum, this time Cliff and I will both get to witness our baby being born.

I know I really should be in a mood to celebrate today, because tomorrow is going to be an exciting day for us.  But to be completely honest, I am feeling very emotional.  I’m sure it’s just the hormones.  I’m worried about how Joshua would do while I’m away for a couple of days, and how he’ll react to a new baby when we get home.  I’m worried about if Savanna is healthy.  I’m worried about how my marriage is going to survive through the sleepness nights and more hormone changes.  I’ve just bursted into tears a few times today with these thoughts, and I can’t explain why.  So I am very excited, and also very worried at the same time.  I didn’t have all these worries last time with Joshua, but mostly because I was just naive.

Today we all spent the day together.  We picked up some last minute supplies at China Town, and hung out at Granville Island for the morning.  Because my diet will be very restricted in the next 30 days, I let myself enjoy some homemade muffins, three cups of decaf coffee, pizza, a super tender piece of prime rib, calamarie, and a coffee ice cream dessert today.  For the next 30 days, there will be no coffee (not even decaf), no fatty pizza, no fried food, no beef, and no ice cream. 

Alright, this will be my last full night of sleep for a while.  I’m off to bed.  G’night!