Who says having a girl is more expensive?

It has been almost exactly a month since Savanna last ingested baby formula.  At her 4-month check-up this week, we learned that she is still on her growth curve at the exact same percentile.  That means she has been putting on just the right amount of weight.

Thanks to her refusal of a bottle, we no longer have to buy any baby formula.  That translates to over $50 a month we no longer have to spend.  Savanna is saving us money!

On a more serious note, I cannot get over how fast she is growing.  I try so hard to savour every moment with her, try to remember how little she was, try to memorize the feel of her little hands and feet, but she still keeps on growing like weeds.  I am so afraid that tomorrow I’m going to wake up and realize her baby phase is already over.

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I got what I wished for

You know how I’ve always lamented about the fact that I can’t produce enough breast milk, and have to supplement with formula for my babies?  Well, now that Savanna is dead set against the bottle, in a way I got what I wished for.  I no longer really have to give her bottles.  Ha.

Since my whiny post about her rejecting the bottle, the situation has not improved.  During the day, she would reject all the bottles I offer her.  The little stinker.  We’ve thrown out so much formula lately (ka-ching!).  I tried using an eye dropper to drop formula into her mouth, and she just spits it all out.

At night, she would reject most of the bottles.  The exception is the one right before bed.  Around 9:30 or 10 pm, she is generally so tired that she’ll nurse with her eyes closed.  That’s usually a good time for me to sneak a bottle in there.  She can be tricked to drink anywhere from 10 to 30 ml.  It’s very little, but I think it helps her feel fuller and she sleep better.

Night time feeding is a bit of a nightmare.  When she was taking more formula, she would have a 4 1/2-hour stretch of sleep, then a 3-hour stretch.  Now it’s anywhere between 2 to 3 hours.  So all that means is I’m up a lot more often at night to feed her.  She also feeds more frequently during the day.  Some days it feels like I have a baby permanently attached to me.

For the first 2 1/2 months we had a comfortable routine we established and followed.  It stressed me out the most when this new pattern first emerged and I didn’t know she was changing things up for us.  I’ve now come to terms with it is what it is.  Besides, for my baby to prefer the breast over the bottle is a much better problem than the other way around.

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Baby rejecting the bottle

Savanna has been taking the bottle since the day she was born, because I knew I wouldn’t produce enough milk based on my experience with Joshua.  So it has been 2 1/2 months that she’s been breastfeeding and taking a top-up bottle at every feed.  I thought this kid doesn’t have a problem switching between the breast and the bottle.

WRONG!

Here I thought I’ve got this second child all figured out.  Nothing should be as difficult as having the first child, right?  Sigh.  Wrong again.

Last week, she started rejecting the bottle about half the time.  But the other half of the time, she’ll still take the bottle.  Normally she would drink about 350 ml of formula a day in total.  This went down to about 200 ml a day last week.  I figured, ok, maybe she doesn’t really need 350 ml a day.  200 ml is ok with me.  I didn’t think too much of it.  Then this week, she rejected the bottle pretty much completely.  In the beginning of the week I can still trick her to drink a little bit, so she would drink about 100 ml a day.  She was obviously hungry after breastfeeding, but just would NOT even contemplate the bottle.

This means that last night she was feeding every 1 1/2 hour.  That means I got about a total of 3.5 hours of broken up sleep all night.  That means a VERY grumpy mommy.

I have to confess, I had thoughts of throwing her on the ground at 4:30 am when she was wailing and I was exasperated.  I swore and yelled, which was very productive in increasing my blood pressure and killing some brain cells.

Today, she drank a total of 10 ml of formula.  Right now Cliff is trying to give her a bottle, and she is wailing.  This has been going on all day today, and my heart is just about to break in half.  She’s hungry, angry, wailing, kicking her little legs, but she just won’t take the bottle.

I changed the nipple to a faster flow one.  That did nothing.  I changed the bottle.  That did nothing.  I went and bought a new bottle today.  That did nothing either.

I have no point to this post, and no ask.  I am simply frustrated and worried and exhausted.  If she needs to feed every 1 1/2 hour again tonight, I might have to hang myself.