First week of work

I guess it is typical during the first week back to feel very out of synch with everybody else.  I learned it after my first mat leave that the world moved on without me, and I need to put in the effort to catch up.  

New technologies were implemented and new policies were brought in place while I was away.  I had to learn some really basic things like how to make a phone call with the new system, and some really annoying things like how to fill out a gazillion new forms and get multiple approvals before I can do any work for a client.

If you told me 4 years ago I was going to have two kids, and that I was going to be crying in my office because I missed them, I’d tell you that you’re nuts.  My career was everything to me, and I would gladly sell my soul for it.  How things have changed!  The little buggers in my life got me wrapped around their little fingers.  I missed both kids all day.  With Joshua, I feel like at least I can explain to him where I was and he would understand.  It’s hard to explain to Savanna where I’ve been all day.

Cliff was fantastic with the kids and making all the meals.  I never doubted his ability to make everything work.  I was surprised, however, that he was very determined to get Joshua to eat some vegetables.  If you know my struggles in that area, you would know that I’ve given up and often make a separate meal for Joshua because he won’t eat what we eat.  Cliff told Joshua the theme of the week was carrots, took him to buy carrots, and made all sorts of dishes with carrots in it.  Joshua actually ended up eating a bit of carrots this past week.  That was a huge accomplishment.

Savanna obviously bonded with Cliff this week.  When I was holding her today, she actually reached out to Cliff and wanted him to hold her.  She has never done that before. While it broke my heart a little, I actually feel much more comforted by the thought that she’s bonding with daddy, and that she’s just as happy being with him.

Joshua-2-2 Joshua-2 Savanna-6939 Savanna-6989 Savanna-7024

Returning to work

Regardless of how hard I tried to slow down time, to savour every minute with my kids, to kick and scream and fight my internal emotional battles, it’s time for me to go back to being a tax accountant next week.

It has been an eventful year.  Savanna’s arrival gave me a year to be with away from work and spend it with people I love the most.  I always feel so grateful for the opportunities she has given me.  The year gave me a lot of time to evaluate my life, and make some changes I have been wanting to make.  We had time to spend a week in Whistler, go to Disney with my brother’s family, and to visit my family in Taiwan and friends in Hong Kong.  I have gained a few new valuable friendships.  I also had the time to finally launch the photography business I’ve been thinking about for many years.

I have grown so attached to my kids; it would be really hard for me to peel myself away and go to work everyday.  And knowing the nature of the job, I am bracing myself for the stress and long hours.  My only consolation is that Cliff will be staying home full time with the kids and I have no worries about them being well cared for.

A lot of people have asked me, “So what about photography?”  I will never stop being fascinated and challenged by all aspects of photography for as long as I live.  In terms of the business aspect, I plan to keep shooting.  The photography diploma courses may be put on hold for a little while, just while I get a feel of this new arrangement on the home and work front.

I will try my best to keep up with the blogging.  To get in touch, you can always email me at angela@angelachang.ca, or follow me on Twitter (angela_chang).