I had two glamour and one maternity photo sessions lined up today. Everything went as well as I had hoped for. Everyone had a good time, and I was happy with the results. But it was the one session I didn’t get to photograph that occupies my mind tonight.

Earlier this week, I received an email from a family who had newborn twins, but is expecting one of the twins to not live much longer. We made tentative plans for me to go photograph the baby at the NICU as a NILMDTS volunteer.

Late last night, a NICU nurse called me and said the family decided to take the baby off life support right then, a day before schedule. I said I was available and ready to go. The nurse put me on hold so she can get a final verbal consent from the family. She came back on the phone and said the family was so devastated that they turned down my offer to photograph the baby. The nurse thanked me and we hung up.

As a mother, I cannot begin to imagine the difficult decisions that this family has to make. I have been at the NICU a number of times, photographing babies who won’t be going home. Nothing can ever prepare someone for losing a baby, and there are no words of comfort profound enough to make the pain go away.

So tonight my thoughts are with this family who went through hell. I am so sorry for your loss.