Last week, preschool was doing the “gradual entry”, so it was only an hour.  This week, it’s the full 2-hours on Tuesday and Thursday.

On Tuesday, I dropped Joshua off, and he ran into the room without even saying bye to me.  That was a good sign.  I walked home with Savanna, put her down for a nap, and thought I would enjoy the quiet time on my own.  Instead, I worried.  I worried about if Joshua is ok.  What if he didn’t like the snacks?  What if he cried?  What if some kid bullied him?  What if he started looking for me and I was nowhere near?  What if he had a potty accident?  What if he felt like I deserted him?

If anyone was having separation anxiety, it was me.

Preschool is probably harder on me than it is for him.  He is totally on his own without Cliff or myself next to him, and that’s a very foreign concept to me.  The fact that I didn’t get to give the preschool teacher the low-down of Joshua’s entire history also really worried me.  How would she know how to deal with him when he’s upset?  How would she know that he hates fruits?  How would she know that he’s missing his nap time to be at preschool and that he might be cranky?  Why didn’t she ask me for his entire history?  Why do they insist on offering fruits as a snack?

When I went back to pick him up on Tuesday, he saw me from across the room, ran towards me with a big smile on his face, “Mommy, mommy, mommy!”  I caught him in my arms and almost died with gratitude that he was happy, and that he was still wearing his own shorts (ie. no potty accident).

Thursday was slightly less smooth.  He was crying when I arrived.  Apparently he had been crying for about 10 minutes over something very minor.  The teacher said he did really well otherwise.  As soon as Joshua saw me, he stopped crying and showed me the craft he made.  He was in very good spirits the rest of the day, so I didn’t think the crying was anything significant.

So *this* mommy survived the first week of preschool, with some anxiety, some worrying, but also did a little bit of letting go.

With tears still in his eyes, proudly showing me his school bus.