I love you so much sometimes it feels like my heart is going to burst!
In the blink of an eye, you are already three months old. Time just flew by. You have grown so fast. It made me a little sad having to put away some of your baby clothes. But then it also excites me that you are becoming more interactive. It makes me so happy when you smile or coo or giggle in response to something I do.
Having you is one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me. I look forward to every evening after your brother goes to sleep, because that’s my alone time with you. I get to hold you, feed you, play with you all without having to divide my attention. I spend so much of that time just staring at you and admiring you and being mesmerized by your beauty.
A year ago, I prayed and asked God for you. I think he knew how much I wanted you and he said yes. I remember going to the hospital for an ultrasound at 5 weeks because I started bleeding, thinking that I have lost you. I bursted into tears when the doctor showed me on the black-and-white screen your little beating heart. Even the doctor had a tear in her eye. I had a good long cry in the car after that appointment because I was so relieved and so grateful. Then I ate an entire BigMac meal, complete with fries, because all of sudden I was ravenous.
Waiting for you to be born was one of the toughest things for me. My arms ached to hold you and my eyes longed to meet you. You make the gloomy weather of winter irrelevant to how I feel inside. That’s how powerful of an impact you have on me. I can look at you and then all of sudden everything else doesn’t really matter so much, including the lousy weather and our very dirty floor. I know it’s very cliche, but you are my sunshine. The brightness of your eyes reminds me everyday that God answered my prayer.
I am loving every minute of holding you in my arms and snuggling with you. I love how your head fits perfectly in the bend of my arms, and I love feeling the weight of your little body on my lap. You’re my little baby, and sometimes I wish you would stay my little baby forever.
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