“Mommy no go”

I usually sneak out of the apartment in the morning before Joshua wakes up, so I can get to work early, and come home early to spend the evening with him.  So Joshua is accustomed to not seeing me in the mornings.

But today he was up pretty early, and Cliff was still in bed.  So I warmed up his milk and went into his room to see him.  He gladly accepted that it was me (rather than Cliff) coming into his room, and he wanted me to read some books to him. 

I said to him, “Baby, I’m sorry, I have to go to work.  How about you get daddy to read you some books?”

He hesitated for a second, looked up at me, and said, “Mommy no go.”

I said, “Sorry, baby, I have to go to work.”

He said again, “Mommy no go”.  He wrapped his little arms around my neck and didn’t say anything further.

I fought back the tears, handed him his milk, took him to our room, and put him on my side of the bed to be next to Cliff.  I gave him a kiss and left for work.

Today is one of those days I wish every circumstance in life is different.  It just tore my heart out this morning that I couldn’t stay home with him.


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