Things I never thought I’d say to my 16-month-old

1. Stop picking my belly button!

2. Can you put Mommy’s underwear back in the laundry basket?

3. Did you put this melted rubber frog in the baseboard heater?

4. I don’t want you to play with that older girl anymore.

5. You ate all my pancakes!

6. Here, play with this roll of toilet paper and be quiet when I take this conference call.

7. Mommy’s pantiliners are not toys.  Put them back in the box!

8. Let’s call the Skype testing lady so we can hear her British accent.

9. What did you put in my mouth?  Eww, is this your snot?

10. Let’s skip class today.  Mommy is tired.

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