Things have been a little busy for the last week or so. This is my last week of maternity leave. I was determined that this week will be spent by savouring every moment I have with Joshua. Today the air was cool, the sky was blue, and it was a gorgeous fall day despite the wind. We went for a walk to get some groceries and enjoy the sunshine. Everywhere we went, the red and orange and yellow leaves took my breath away.
After the walk, we went home, had some lunch, then went down to the courtyard of the complex for some pictures. The courtyard has a small patch of grass that is free of dog pee and poop. When we first moved into the complex, I was quite unhappy about not being able to take Sam down there because of the stupid strata rules. But now I am actually quite relieved that there is one patch of clean grass in Kitsilano that Joshua can play on.
I was thinking today how much life has changed since Joshua’s arrival. Sometimes I wonder what I would be doing if we didn’t have Joshua. Mostly likely, I’d just be slaving away at work, and dreaming of the next vacation. For many years I didn’t want children because I was terrified of screwing up someone’s life. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that even the most amazing parents screw up somewhere, so I’ll just have to do my best and take the hit when my kid tells me where I screwed up.
I’ve enjoyed this past year so much, which makes going back to work much more difficult. I’ve had so much fun. I can recall maybe two or three really rough days, but it was complete bliss the other 362 or 363 days.