I won and you lost!

With all the issues I’ve had with breastfeeding Joshua, our doctor and I both felt that weaning Joshua off at 3 or 4 months is good enough.  Then somehow I found the energy to continue with breastfeeding.  I figured, ok, I’ll stop at 6 months.  So when Joshua was 6 months old, I stopped taking domperidone.  But without the medication, I was still producing some milk, so I kept feeding Joshua twice a day.  It became a comfortable routine, and I didn’t really feel the need to stop.  This continued for the next 5 1/2 months.

Now I only have 2 weeks left of maternity leave, I definitely need to wean Joshua off before I go back to work.  I started skipping a feed each day last week, so now I only breastfeed him just before bed.  In a few more days I’ll start skipping the evening feed too.

I keep expecting this major emotional turmoil for me, but so far I’m feeling quite relaxed about the whole thing.  Maybe it’s because I know that I’ve already done the best I can, even exceeding our doctor’s expectations.

Actually, I’m quite proud of myself.  I remember how stressed out I was about producing one extra ounce of milk, and how desperate I felt for not being able to exclusively breastfeed.  Looking back at the battles I’ve fought in order to keep breastfeeding, I feel a sense of pride and victory.

It makes me want to say to my breasts: I won and you lost!

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