Not-very-little baby

Last night, I was playing some of the video clips of Joshua from when he was only a few months old.  There was one particular clip of him singing along with Cliff that sent me sobbing.  Here’s the clip:

In the video, Joshua was only about 3 months old.  It made me so emotional seeing how little he was.  He couldn’t hold up his head yet, and his face was still covered in baby acne.  The small baby I held in my arms is now over 8 months old, crawling, standing, eating solid food, pushing me away when I kiss him, no longer battling baby acne, and his legs dangle off the side when I hold him in my arms now.  I cried because I felt sad about how fast time flies when it comes to his little life.

I constantly ask myself if I treasure every minute of his life.  It feels like if I’m not grateful enough for him, he might be taken away from me.  The truth is, I treasure almost every minute of his life.  Yes, there are moments he drives me absolutely crazy, like when he woke up 6 times a night for the first 6 months, or like when he screams at the sight of solid food.  But the big picture is that I am so grateful for having Joshua and I treasure the time we have together.

Joshua, you’ve changed my life.  You’ve softened me.  I will always be grateful for the amazing experience to be your mama.

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