Last night, I finally came to the realization that it has taken me 10 weeks to get used to the idea that Joshua is ours. Before this, it almost seems like at any moment someone will knock on our door and inform us there has been a mistake, and that it was an error to let me be Joshua’s mother.

Maybe this realization has something to do with my decision to stop feeling inadequate, and start enjoying motherhood. Now that I have decided that I’ll never be perfect, I am actually more ok with the idea of raising Joshua the best way I know how and be allowed to make mistakes. This is likely why I finally felt like we’re “allowed” to keep him.